The Wonders of Flipping Out
by DoubleMobious
Summary: Just another Human-Collegestuck. Basically Karkat and Sollux share a flat, they're both in college, they're also lonely, I suck at writing summaries because there's no plot, blah blah blah. Rated M For Language, (Future) Violence, (Future) Sexual Themes, and (Future) Usage and/or Mentioning of Drugs. It's got all the goodies in it. It also has cats.
1. Chapter 1

**The Wonders of Flipping Out**

**Chapter One**

**No Cats**

"You see, this is exactly why I think you are the stupidest human being that the universe ever decided to conceive from a poor woman's filthy womb!"

"Oh, and what is it this time, drama-flipping-queen? Did I miss a fold while ironing your precious shirts?" His lisp was god-awfully noticeable. In all honesty, he should have gotten that fixed at a young age while he was still learning how to talk. It's far too late for that, though. This douche bag's already in college.

"Haha, very funny, count thpitth-a-lot," The shorter mocked, "No, it is in fact, _not_ a fold in my damned shirt. It is that putrid, disgusting creature over there." He juts out his index finger toward a small, black ball of fur huddled in the corner of the gray painted room.

"What, you mean Nepeta?"

"You _named_ it?!" The stout man spat in obvious anger. "Are you kidding me right now? Are you _serious_? Like, on your fourth cousin's great-great-great grandfather's dirtied, disgusting grave that you named that god forsaken creature?!"

"For crying out loud, KK! It's just a kitten!" Sollux couldn't fathom what the big deal was.

Flabbergasted, Karkat broke out into a full outburst of rage. "Really?! _Really?!_ Are you fucking serious?! How many times have I told you, in all the only forty two days that I've known you-"

"You've been counting the days?" Sollux interrupted, but Karkat continued anyway.

"That I am allergic to cats?! I mean, did you just not care enough to listen to my simple requests for you not to get any sort of feline animal or are you doing this just to piss me off my edge of tolerance?! Because, there is only so much I can tolerate when it comes to other fucking people! Especially, stupid ass dickheads, like you, who don't like to listen to others or think about what the fuck they do before they do it!" He finished with a stomp of his foot, storming off to his room where he proceeded his exist by slamming the door, only to open it again and yell at his flatmate, "And get that _fucking_ thing out of here! _Now!_" then slam the hardwood, once more.

Sighing as he walked to the corner, Sollux picked up Nepeta, the small cat letting out a happy "meow" and tunes of purs. Lispy couldn't help but smile and scratch behind her ears, quietly humming to himself as he opened his flat door to a hall and a flight of stairs leading to the lobby and front entrance of the building.

With each step taken down the stairs, Nepeta emphasized a pur, nuzzling closer in his arms. The smile planted across his face slowly began to fade as realization of no longer having cute, adorable, sweet, fluffy Nepeta set in. He'd only known this cat for about an hour, but he felt so right with her. Plus, she was super soft for an alley cat. She had no fleas, nor ticks and telling from how clean and shiney her fur was, probably didn't have any internal parasites, either. She must have had just been dropped off or something. Either way, he was attached to this cat.

As he reached the end of the steps, a voice rang from his left. "Good evening, Mr. Captor. May I ask what that is in your arms?"

Sollux turned to find Mr. Scratch, the flat owner, walking toward him, a grin painted across his pale, slick face. "Oh, hey, Mr. Scratch. It's a, uh, it's a cat." Sollux never bothered to ask whether they were allowed to have pets in their flat or not, mostly because it never crossed his mind.

"Oh!" His grin grew. "Where are you taking the little cutie?"

"Well," Sollux frowned, "I think I'm going to-"

"Take her to the pound?" The older man interrupted, crossing his arms and leaning against the stair railing. "I figured as much. Karkat hates cats."

Lispy's face twisted in confusion. "I thought he said he's allergic to them."

"No, no," Scratch chuckled, "That's just the poor boy's excuse for not liking them. He's perfectly fine around cats, he just hates them more than he himself... Sad soul."

"Oh..."

"But, you know, lad, you really shouldn't take it somewhere filthy like the pound. In fact, I can think of a better home for the little fur ball." His grin was genuinely beamed at the collegeman as he stepped upon the flight of stairs himself. "Follow me, my boy."

Sollux, not really having any reason to object, complied, following the older man up the steps he had just trekked down only moments ago. "You see," Scratch began, "there's a man here, who moved in about a week ago. From the moment I met him, he seemed very lonely and as if he needed some sort of companionship. So, maybe..."

"Nepeta," Sollux spoke out, figuring he was in someway asking for the kitten's name.

"Nepeta," he echoed, "would do him some good."

Once to room 203, Scratch knocked at the stranger's room, Sollux standing behind his halted body, still holding Nepeta as they both waited for a response from behind the faded green door. A moment of silence was hung between both of the men before crashing of what sounded of metal and hard footsteps were heard. Soon, a man, standing a little more than seven foot, stood before them, sweating like a horse. "Yes?" The man answered in a deep, husky tone. His hair was pitch black, straight, and slicked back, reaching to almost his shoulders. The unnecessary sunglasses he wore upon his, more than damp, face were cracked and slowly slid down his nose, causing him to lift his hand and push them back up, repeating this action more than once.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Zahhak," Scratch smiled, placing his hands behind the small of his back, only raising them to gesture as he spoke. "How are you enjoying your flat so far? Are you settling in all right?"

"Oh, uh, very much so," Replied the _ripped,_ sweating man, "I think this will suit my well being for the temporary time I will be staying here."

"Mmm, yes, now, are you lonely?" Scratch's expression abided. He didn't move an inch.

On the other hand, both Sollux and Mr. Zahhak were struck with surprise at the abrupt question. Reason being, they hadn't known Mr. Scratch long enough to expect a blunt question like that. Something like this is typical for the building owner. "W-Well," Mr. Zahhak stuttered, "I haven't had a suitable companion in quite a while, with all of the moving around and looking for a-"

"You're not, by any chance, allergic to cats, are you?" Mr. Scratch's composure was kept the same. Again, the older man didn't move even a single inch. How does a guy stand that still? The hell? He's like a statue.

"No. I do not have any allergies. Why do you ask?" Mr. Zahhak questioned as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and continued to sweat ferociously.

"Well, Mr. Captor has this adorable kitten with him; but he is unable to keep her. His flatmate is, uh...allergic to cats, I'm afraid." Scratch turned to Sollux who stood behind him, petting the purring cat, and took her from his arms. "We don't want to torture the poor kitty by taking her to a pound, so we were just wondering if you had any space on your living quarters for little Nepeta." Spinning on his heel, he once again faced the perspiring man, holding her out toward him.

Mr. Zahhak took a moment to assess the situation, then with a stiff shrug, he stated, "I've never had a cat before."

"There's always a first for everything!" And with that, Mr. Scratch handed the hefty man the loving feline. "Wonderful! Now, you two have fun," He beamed a satisfied, yet gleed, smile. Turning once again on his heel, he spun around to find the empty handed Sollux frowning and staring at the floor.

By this time, Mr. Zahhak had already shut his door, taking little Nep along with him. "That cat was really damned cute," Sollux stated, forlornly.

Mr. Scratch chuckled as he started down the hall, waving for Lispy to tag along. "I'm sure she'll be better off without Mr. Vantas screaming at you both all day."

**(( Oh my jesus, why did this take so damn long to write? It's school. Always taking up all my time. Barely have time to talk to anyone, anymore.**  
**Anywho, thanks for reading this horrid first chapter. I'm planning on writing more, but I don't know how long it will take for me to post it. I don't think I'll be able to go every Monday like I had planned...Maybe, every other Monday.**  
**Well, I'm going to work on the next chapter.**  
**See ya, then.**  
**- Bug ))**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Wonders of Flipping Out**

**Chapter Two**

**Who's The Whore?**

Morning came soon after Karkat had gone to bed, waking him by the late winter light, pouring in through his window, and screeching of his alarm. Fuck, he was _not_ in the mood for people. To his luck, though, it was Saturday, which meant no class. On the other hand, he did still have work, which only put him in a worse mood than he was in to begin with.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the heels of his palms, he stood and made his way to the window. To his surprise, it had snowed. Quite a bit, in fact. If there was enough snow, he wouldn't have to go to work! Oh God, wouldn't that be glorious?

He headed back to his bed, scooping his briefs from the carpeted floor and slipped them on. Booty warm, but still not enough for him. It was still pretty chilly in his room for some reason... _Maybe some pants_, he thought to himself, making his way toward his closet and- what the fuck? Where were all of his pajama pants? Yeah, he only had like two pairs, but dah fuck? He did laundry the night before and specifically remembered taking out his shirts and placing them right above his- Okay, this isn't funny. Where were his crab boxers? Those are his fucking favorite. He got them from...well, that's not important. He just needed to find his shit.

This was not a good way to start his day. He could already tell his day was going to be bad just by this little incident- No, more like a mishap. A shitty one, at that. So, shaking like a chiwawa, he grabbed the first article of clothing he saw in reach. Unfortunately, that just so happened to be his flatmate's Aperture Science shirt, slung over his computer chair. His roommate...O how he abhors that man. That _stupid_ lisp, those smartass comebacks to Karkat's smartass remarks. That kid's annoying as shit. But, he has pretty eyes.

Wait, what?

No. Stop thinking that.

Ew. This shirt smelled of old spice. Just like Sollux. That kid coats that shit on like some middle schooler and he has to smell as douchey as possible for the end of the world. It's like 2012 all over again. Ha, remember when everyone shit their pants over that? All thought we were gonna die suddenly because the fucking Mayan's calendar ended. Oh, it was like idiots galore, in Karkat's hometown.

Anywho, back on topic of subject. Karkat was cold and needed coffee. Coffee sounds really good right now. Oh, how he loved his Tim Horton's cherry brew. The smell would spread throughout the whole flat, attracting the Captor and making even _him_ beg for some. He'd usually set the coffee maker to start at six am, so by seven, when he'd be done getting ready, he could grab a cup and head out for class. The smell would wash over him in a wave of goodness, every morning, when he'd open his bedroom door, but...today that didn't happen. He was basically slapped in the face by the smell of some shit, Walmart bought coffee. Just from mere whiff of the stuff, you could tell it was cheap as fucking dirt.

Shit, he was still cold. Okay, no time to worry about the crappy ass coffee, Vantas. Go to your flatmate's room. He stepped from his sleeping chambers and out to the cookery. To his surprise, there was a girl...in his spaceship pajama pants, in a long white t-shirt. _She_ was the one making the shit coffee.

"Who the fuck are you?" Karkat scoffed, looking her over with a sneer.

She only turned her head for a moment to look at the male, then back to the coffee pot in her hand, pouring it into... Karkat's cup. Is she_ trying_ to piss him off? "Is that any of your concern?" God, she sounded as dead as she looked. Her black hair was obviously dyed -by it's tecture-,looking dead and fried, and it's unnatural red tint. And that awful eye makeup made her look like a raccoon carcass, run over and kicked off the side of the road for the woodland creatures to eat.

"Um, yeah. It kinda is. In case you haven't noticed, I live here." He crossed his arms. She'd actually be pretty is she wasn't so god damned fake. "You're also wearing my clothes, and using my cup. Which, frankly, doesn't make me very happy."

"Who said I was here to make you happy?"

Cocky bitch. "You listen hear, little miss Emo Bi-" Is all Karkat spat out before Sollux entered the kitchen, shirtless, in only boxers.

Holy Joseph, Mary, and Jesus. That was the first time Karkat had seen Sollux without a shirt on. He actually had _muscles._ And there were _visible_. "Good morning, Aradia," He muttered groggily, rubbing an eye and yawning.

Aradia took a sip of her, shitty, coffee and nodded once. "I'm gonna get my clothes and take off. I've got work." She said after she set the mug down. She then proceeded to walk right past Lispy into his room, without another word.

The sad thing is, you could see the hurt in his eyes. The way he watched her walk right past him, without a simple "Good morning" back. He shook his head and shrugged, "Whatever..."

Karkat sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Who was that?"

He poured himself a cup. "Some girl I used to know way back when. We were in middle school together and met up at a club last night," He leaned back against the counter, holding his bee mug by the handle in one hand, "I thought we could catch up on lost time and talk, you know? But, we ended up coming back here and just fucking." He shrugged once more, finally taking a sip then pulling back with a face twisted in disgust.

Karkat instantly felt a prick of...was it jealousy(?) in his chest at the words "...and just fucking." What was it about that statement that just irritated him? Well, who knows? Almost everything irritates him.

"It wasn't even that great." He set his coffee down, sighing. "She sucks at riding."

The shorter of the two's eyes widen as a flush spreads across his face. _I don't_, he thought to himself as he walked to the kitchen table, sitting down in one of the chairs. "Well, what are you going to do?"

Sollux paused for a moment before swallowing hard and pouring the shit coffee down the drain.. "I don't know. I probably won't invite her over again. We don't really click."

The door to his room opened and Little Ms. Bitchtit came strutting out in a leather jacket, short, ripped black skirt and Prada heels. "I'm off to work."

Karkat scoffed at the girl, raising a brow. "What? Are you a fuckin' prostitute or a stripper?"

As if paying no attention to the rude male, she pulled out a cigarette and lit it. With a puff she replied with a blow, "Both" and continued her strut to the door, slamming it behind her without another word.

Both men stared in awe.

After a moment, Karkat finally broke the silence, standing as he murmured,"Fuck, Sollux. I didn't know you were into whores."

"I'm not into whores, you dipshit! I already told your our situa-"

"Sollux," He interrupted the other, abruptly, raising a brow, "I don't fucking care. Now, go watch fucking cartoons or something. It's Saturday; you don't have work."

And without another word said between either of the two, the phone rang.

**((Does this seem short? I dunno. I have terrible writer's block and I'm also trying to work on this shitty comic while attempting to balance both at the same time. And holy fuck I've never had so many research papers in such a short period of time. This shit is somewhat stressful. But, even though this is a hassle, I'll persevere and continue this story.**

**Also, sorry for making Aradia a bitchy whore, Aradia lovers. It just kinda seemed hot at the time, I dunno.**  
**Anywho, thanks for putting up with me. I'll see you next chapter, my lovelies.**

**Also, I_ NEED _ideas for chapter three. Please, give me ideas. :( I'm totally blank.  
**

**- Bug )) **


	3. Chapter 3

**The Wonders of Flipping Out**

**Chapter Three**

**Hands Off**

The day he gets off of work and school, he spends watching shitty romance comedies in his bedroom. And that night, he was very productive. Which, in his mind, productive is going out drinking at some club and picking up that hot dude that was eyeing him that whole night. Now, Karkat is obviously not a charmer or one that's known to be good with words, at that, but that's when he's sober. When he's drunk, he's a completely different person. Nobody really knows what it is but the way he slurs his words and winks his half lidded eyes always reels in his fish. And not on of those shitty pikes, these are the eight pound big mouth bass that win you that big ass trophy those basshunter guys get.

Sollux actually did accomplish something that day. He went to the store, bought some milk and bread and coffee cream. When he got home, he studied for his tech test on Tuesday before making his way to his computer and chatting up a storm with his minecraft friends. "Oh, shit! Watch out for that creeper!" Sollux called into the microphone of his headset.

"Jesus christ, Sol!" The voice at the other end replied, just as loud, as the creeper exploded. "Why didn't ya warn me earlier? Now, I have to completely rebuild this wall!"

"Haha, sorry. I just now saw it." He moved his character to the other player. "I'll help you rebuild it."

"Awww, dammit. My pig is gone, too," He whined, moving to the spot where his pig used to roam. "I loved that pig..."

"Dude, it's just a-" Sollux was cut short by the sound of his flat door opening, and then slamming shut. "Hold on one sec, man. I think Karkat's home."

"Isn't that your bitch ass flatmate? Cod, he pisses me off," Eridan groaned from the other end, already beginning to rebuild the wall that had just been blown to bits. Sollux knows Eridan all too well enough to know he rolled his eyes when he said this.

The techy slipped his glasses back on as he responded, "Yep, that's him. My 'bitch ass flatmate'." He stood, holding his headphones as he finished, "I'll be back in a second, ED. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, just log off, because we're probably fighting." He didn't even wait for the other to respond when he pulled them off and set them on his computer desk. Oh, did he have some serious shit to talk to Karkat about. He was pissed beyond words, a point to where he was afraid he may not even be able to speak once he got to him.

"Oh, stoppit you," a voice slurred, followed by a giggle, "m' flatmate is home. S', we gots ta be quiet, see? Shhhhh." Another giggle.

Sollux instantly knew that Karkat had come home drunk yet again, but with someone. Which wasn't what he had expected at all.

"Awww, aren't you just the cutest," An unfamiliar husky tone chuckled.

That's the moment that Sollux had actually made his way into the kitchen and witnessed Karkat and his boy toy's drunken start of foreplay. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" His face was twisted in complete anger, his eyes almost flaming when he noticed the stranger's hand up his flatmate's shirt.

Karkat beamed and leaned to his right to look at Sollux from behind the man. "Oh look,I told ya he was here."

The blonde stranger looked back with him, his facial expression creepishly blank as he (Sollux thinks) made eye contact with Sollux. "'Sup."

"This is Dick," Karkat giggled, patting the man's chest.

"Dave," He corrected.

"Dave," The shorter man echoed.

"Okay, that's nice, now get the fuck out of my flat," Is all Sollux said as he crossed his arms.

"Sollux!" Karkat called in surprise as the blonde stranger's eyebrows raised above his aviators. "Tha's not any way to speak to a guest!"

Lispy stepped closer, holding up a fist to the man. "I don't give a shit! Now, I said 'get the fuck out of my flat', which means '_get the ever loving fuck out of my flat, you cheap excuse for a douche bag._'"

Dave stepped back with his arms up in defense, "Hold up, man. I was just trying to get laid." and backed up into the door.

"Yeah, well not here." Furiously fuming, Sollux grabbed him by the collar of his red and white baseball shirt, lifting him up a bit as he spit, "Don't _ever_ touch him like that again. You hear me?"

His voice faltered as he replied, "Y-Yeah, bro. Just let me scoot, I'll get out of you and your boyfriend's hair. You won't see me again, I swear man, just don't punch me." God, he sounded so fucking pathetic.

"Good," The angry man sneered as he threw him down, Dave hitting the door in the process. "I don't ever want to see your fake face again. Get out."And he did just that. Pushed out the door like a mouse from a cat, rushing toward freedom as if his life depended on it.

Never before had the man been so cross, and honestly he didn't even know why he was. Karkat wasn't a friend nor his boyfriend. He was nothing more than someone he lived with... so why was he so irritated by him bringing someone home? Or even the thought of it? It's not like Sollux cared for him any.

"Damn..." Muttered the disappointed boy as he leaned on his hip and crossed his arms, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I was gonna get laid. Welp, oh well. 'm goin' t' bed." He slipped off his jacket, leaving it on the floor as he stumbled toward his bedroom.

Sollux just sighed, rubbing his temples as he was getting a headache, making his own way to his own bedroom where Eridan would still be waiting for him. But, not really to his luck, when he returned the other had already logged out. Fuckin' figures. He never stays on if he's gone for longer than five minutes.

But somehow ED got another pig and it was skipping around like it was the happiest little fucker in the world. Just skipping in a damn circle. What did he have to be so happy about? He's just some stupid fucking pig that could have easily been turned into bacon. And Sollux's character could have just gone off and eaten that bacon.

Whatever. He was too tired for this. He just wanted to sleep. Slipping his glasses off and running his fingers through his hair, he logged off and shut off his computer. Made his way to his bed and lied there...all night. Awake.

**((First, I just want to thank KLonely716 for giving me this amazing idea. I give him/her the credit of coming up with it. And KLonely716, I'm kissing your face all over. I freaking love you. I couldn't think of jack shit for like three months. Thank you.**

**Also, I apologize for this taking so long.**

**Also also, thank you for your positive reviews on my horrible story! :D It motivates me to continue this shit.))**


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